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[killthepast]

[ There's just a very terse: ]

“ Leave a message. ”

[ VOICE | VIDEO | TEXT | ACTION | SHAMELESS TROLLING ]

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Voice: un: scavenger.rey

[talentedscavenger]

[ Rey is furious and just visited Poe....she’s calling trather marching to kick his ass. ]

Does the word ‘ceasefire’ mean nothing to you?!

[killthepast]

[ WELL.

HE KNOWS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. ]

Our agreement never covered the pilot, and that had nothing to do with you!

[ My, somebody's frazzled with rage right now. ]

[talentedscavenger]

Poe is my friend! The ceasefire was between me and you! You had a ceasefire between you and Poe!

This is a brilliant way to convince me you’re best suited to me by teacher!

[killthepast]

[ Snappishly: ] I didn't think--

[ Well, that much is obvious. He stops himself before he can run his mouth some more. ]

The circumstances were very different. I meant what I said to you, regardless.

[talentedscavenger]

[ No, clearly he doesn’t think! He doesn’t think of the consequences of his actions. He doesn’t think how it’ll affect others. ]

The circumstances are the same! If a ceasefire means nothing with Poe, then it stands to reason it won’t mean a damn thing with me.

What did he do to enrage you to point of nearly killing him?!

[killthepast]

[ She's asking. He should answer, to establish some... trust. To try to get her to understand his motivations.

Instead: ]

Nothing. You were right about me. About my being a monster. [ He says it with no self loathing, no shame, and also... no honest belief. No, he's not saying it because he believes it. He's saying it just to say something at all.

Basically, he's being a flippant jerk.

It beats dredging up his true insecurities in the form of 1000 mommy and daddy issues. ]

Voice, a couple of weeks after his music post.

[11calls]

[When Alex doesn't sleep, she fucks around on the internet. Only this time, she's been doing it with a purpose, and she sends him a huge link. Emo music. Enjoy that.]

Here. I know you liked the music, and I had a fair amount of it on my phone, so now you can have it too.

[killthepast]

[ WELL.

That's unexpected. But he kind of appreciates the gesture. New music is something he's been exposing himself to, more and more, these past weeks. ]

Thanks.

[ Buuuuuut... ]

Why are you sending me this at this hour?

[ NEVERMIND THAT REN'S AWAKE, TOO. ]

[11calls]

[She... Didn't expect him to be awake when she sent it.]

Sorry. I sort of assumed that you'd be asleep and wake up to it the morning. Sometimes I don't think that people will actually be awake.

Other than me, I guess. I'm sorry.

[killthepast]

Usually, I wouldn't be.

[ It's been difficult to sleep lately. ]

[11calls]

Oh.

[A beat.]

I'm sorry you joined the shitty insomnia club. It sucks.

[killthepast]

[ He doesn't say anything for a few moments, then: ]

Why can't you sleep?

@arsenal; text

[shootsoff]

your ex sounds like a peach

[killthepast]

[ oh god oh god oh god ]

My ex?

[shootsoff]

yeah little miss ultimatum sob story on the anon post. sorry I kinda recognized your typing.

[And that 'broken boy or monster' line.]

it's okay if you don't wanna talk about it.

[killthepast]

[ Kriffffffff. He doesn't mind that Roy realized it was him, but now he's... concerned. About people from his galaxy putting the pieces together. ]

We were never together. I just thought

I thought she'd seen me as something more than a creature to tame.

[ Which is really the root of so much of his anger, since the two of them gained their new memories. The way she speaks to or about him shows him that she doesn't know him at all. She wants somebody he isn't. ]

2/2 A SURPRISE FOLLOWUP TEXT

[killthepast]

[ He types a second text, but his fingers still as he considers whether he should really send it or not. A few times, he deletes it. Rewrites it. Then finally, after waffling enough, he hits send.

Because he wants somebody to understand why his arguments with Rey keep setting him off. ]

I've spent my entire life thinking that if I changed who I was, I could become worthy of love.

[ A pathetic thing to admit to somebody, but he finds it easier to tell Roy, somebody not of his galaxy, who knows nothing of his legacy and bloodline, than anyone else in his life.

Ben Solo hadn't been worthy of his family's love, no matter how hard he tried to reject the Darkness. He'd been sent away by his parents, and nearly slain in his bed by his uncle. Kylo Ren is unlovable, too. He'd say it's all by his own design, but that would be a lie. He wanted Snoke's love, and he tried to suppress the Light in him to get it. Instead, he had derision and contempt; in the end, his father was right. Snoke used him in a particularly base way, as bait to lure Rey to the Supremacy.

And Rey... She only wanted a vision of Ben Solo. An idea of who he used to or could be. Not the man before her. ]

I'm tired of trying.

[shootsoff]

[That first text was sad already, Roy was already trying to work out how to say something kind and encouraging without being too over the top. He knows he has a bad habit of that, and he also knows he's been coming on strong with Kylo - what can he say though? He likes him.

And then that second text comes. Roy feels a twist in his gut while he reads it because damned if he doesn't know that feeling. Damned if he doesn't know a lot of people who know that feeling. It makes his heart ache a little to see someone else who's struggled with it, who's gone down the wrong paths looking for love.]

jesus christ, you're not a creature. you're a person.

people do bad things and it doesn't make them monsters or creatures just people who did bad things.

don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of bad things or doing them. I've spent a long time trying to become a better me. I think it'd be great if you wanted to try to become a better you. but like, there's a difference between what people do and what they are and if youre gonna do that youve gotta do it for yourself.

anyone who loves you should love what you are or what YOU want to be.

[killthepast]

Ask the people from my universe what I am. They'll give you a very different answer. If you knew

[ If you knew, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.

If you knew, you'd see me as all the others do.

No, that isn't fair. Roy's done nothing to deserve anything but the benefit of the doubt so far. His only crime is, what, meeting Kylo after years and years of disappointment, deceit and betrayal at the hands of others? ]

People tend to be less interested in who I am than what I can do. She wanted to use me to fight in a war. My old Master used me for the same purpose.

I am a monster.

[ It's easy enough to insist on it through text, with his face hidden behind his words, than face-to-face, without the benefit of a mask. But he does look over Roy's message again and again, wondering if the meaning will sink in to his heart if he just reads it enough times. ]

You're a very kind person. [ He used to be a kind person, once, himself. ] I hope

I hope nothing takes that away from you.

(10PM) text, un: red.star

[fhux]

[ After a disastrous talk with Kirk, many hours later when Hux has eaten an expensive dinner and taken himself to an elitist bar in his best clothes, because kriff everyone, he makes his second best-worst decision of the day by drunkenly texting Ren. Everything is so much clearer when inebriated: the Force is stupidly unfair, he wants to use it, and obviously Ren should be the one to set this up.

What's difficult about that? ]

cna you let me jerrow *BORROW the foaCe
will give it back as i dnt liek it really

[killthepast]

[ Talk about unexpected messages to receive at 10 PM. Usually Ren's the disaster here, not Armitage.

He stares at the screen, mulling over the text for a few moments, before he texts back: ]

How much have you had to drink tonight?

[fhux]

[ Scoffing at his phone in the bar because he's classy like that. ]

yourr'e not the upreme leader of ME

[ Yes, that's appropriately hilarious and true. ]

give me the force i needd it to do
perosnal missions

[killthepast]

[ Hux, you messy ho.

"That's not how the Force works"-- is what he almost types, except he could swear he can hear the voice of his own father saying that. No, no, instead he'll humor Hux, since he's curious and wasn't doing anything with his time, anyway: ]

Tell me the mission, and I'll consider.

[fhux]

immgoijg to kill james kirk

[killthepast]

[ Nnnnooootttt what he expected. ]

Because he chose Dameron over you?

[ And he can't help the curiosity that has him typing out the next message: ]

How would you do it?