[ He types a second text, but his fingers still as he considers whether he should really send it or not. A few times, he deletes it. Rewrites it. Then finally, after waffling enough, he hits send.
Because he wants somebody to understand why his arguments with Rey keep setting him off. ]
I've spent my entire life thinking that if I changed who I was, I could become worthy of love.
[ A pathetic thing to admit to somebody, but he finds it easier to tell Roy, somebody not of his galaxy, who knows nothing of his legacy and bloodline, than anyone else in his life.
Ben Solo hadn't been worthy of his family's love, no matter how hard he tried to reject the Darkness. He'd been sent away by his parents, and nearly slain in his bed by his uncle. Kylo Ren is unlovable, too. He'd say it's all by his own design, but that would be a lie. He wanted Snoke's love, and he tried to suppress the Light in him to get it. Instead, he had derision and contempt; in the end, his father was right. Snoke used him in a particularly base way, as bait to lure Rey to the Supremacy.
And Rey... She only wanted a vision of Ben Solo. An idea of who he used to or could be. Not the man before her. ]
2/2 A SURPRISE FOLLOWUP TEXT
Because he wants somebody to understand why his arguments with Rey keep setting him off. ]
I've spent my entire life thinking that if I changed who I was, I could become worthy of love.
[ A pathetic thing to admit to somebody, but he finds it easier to tell Roy, somebody not of his galaxy, who knows nothing of his legacy and bloodline, than anyone else in his life.
Ben Solo hadn't been worthy of his family's love, no matter how hard he tried to reject the Darkness. He'd been sent away by his parents, and nearly slain in his bed by his uncle. Kylo Ren is unlovable, too. He'd say it's all by his own design, but that would be a lie. He wanted Snoke's love, and he tried to suppress the Light in him to get it. Instead, he had derision and contempt; in the end, his father was right. Snoke used him in a particularly base way, as bait to lure Rey to the Supremacy.
And Rey... She only wanted a vision of Ben Solo. An idea of who he used to or could be. Not the man before her. ]
I'm tired of trying.